Poem for Tuesday, January 31, 2012
6 hours ago
F-Bomb AlertTM This post contains language that may not be suitable for all readers.| THERE | BACK |
|---|---|
| Crap. I left the book I was going to translate at home. I wonder how many more things I'm going to remember that I forgot. I hate packing. | Eight whole days without dropping an f-bomb. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck fuck." Wow, I feel so much better now. |
| I am BYPASSING the entire drawn-out town of Vilonia. Woot! | People who are easily offended generally take great delight in it. They probably derive an equal measure of pleasure from being offended than people who enjoy being offensive. Hey, win-win! |
| Stupid people are REALLY into each other; hence, their numbers are growing exponentially...as demonstrated by all the idiots driving around me. | Whoa! The Led Zeppelin was in here the whole time. "Ah, caught you smiling at me/ That's the way it should be/ Like a leaf is to a tree, so fine." |
| Get your duct-taped hooptie out of my way! | If S...O...P...A passes, |
| Rice, rice, and more rice. | Three-quarters of a tank and I will pull over to fill up just before Illinois, thank you. |
| What I've learned from the Marquis de Sade: Know and embrace your inner beast and never apologize for your beastly ways. | Is this that place where I was followed by that creepy van? Thank the holies (the Marquis de Sade, Nietzsche, and Derrida...someday you will remember this) for those two truck drivers. |
| Cotton. | There is no right or wrong in nature. The ability to transgress is what makes us human. Acting on it probably also gives us humanity, empathy, and self-awareness. |
| This is the place where I rolled down the window and flipped off the dive-bombing crop duster who nearly caused a wreck on the freeway this summer. I wonder if he saw me? | Man, Illinois is boring. |
| I-55 exit to Portageville, MO: "Drug Check Point, K-9, 3/4 mile." Let me wrap by brain around this. Put up a sign that you're going to be searching for drugs...with trained drug-sniffing dogs...and it acts as a beacon for mules transporting the illegal goods to...gee...I don't know...St. Louis...Chicago? People are actually stupid enough to exit here with 10 pounds of | I can't believe I had to eat fast food to stay awake. Now I feel sick. I guess THAT will keep me from falling asleep. |
| "The Cleanest Restrooms in Fill in The State Here" usually means there is no toilet paper, no soap, and no paper towels. That's why it's clean. | Where's that confounded bridge? |
| The entire state of Illinois is one giant speed trap. I know this; you know this. Why do you speed? Why do you think you are pulled over? I pass you with a whiff of schadenfreude and a tinge of self-righteousness. | There's that confounded bridge. Just get me back in the South...and back up to 70 M.P.H. |
| Corn, corn, and more corn. | Surprise! Wrong exit. Oh, well, the Exxon Pit Stop or Reeves Boomland...six of one, half a dozen of another. |
| How many times can I sing "Femme Fatale" before I become hoarse? Hit the button again and let's see. | Hey, those restrooms really are clean...and well stocked. Maybe I should get gas here from now on. |
| They shut down seven miles of one freeway lane so two guys can watch another guy work at the half-way point. I'm amazed we even have roads in this country. | Damn CD-Player. I guess I'll have to listen to KGMO 100.7 while it cools off. |
| I have never seen a single person visiting the aluminum-sided Big Damn Cross since it sprung up by the side of I-57 south of Effingham, IL. | Thanks to the dick who nearly caused me to have a head-on. You were perfectly content doing 50 on 412 (which is a 60, BTW) when I started to pass you. What, you don't like being passed by a woman? |
| Time for something more sacrilegious. Oh, VU's Peel Slowly and See disc box set number four. That should do it. | If I concentrate, I can get to 67/167 before the last bit of sun disappears behind the Ozark foothills. |
| There isn't a whole Effing lot going on in Effingham except for the Big Damn Cross, and it isn't exactly happening. *turns up volume* | Woohoo! I'm burning up the freeway now! Look out fellow Arkies! |
| Thank everything I consider holy (the Marquis de Sade, Nietzsche, and Derrida), I'm in Indiana where they also appreciate guns and 70-MPH speed limits. | Surprise! Wrong exit again...in Beebe, Arkansas, population 5000 something. Seriously? I've lived here 25 years. I've been to Beebe a million times. I need to be home. |
| Arkansas smells like catfish and earthworms, Missouri smells like burning tires, Illinois smells like crude, and Indiana smells like poo. I can't decide which is worst. | Still loving the Vilonia by-pass. |
| Where's my | Gee, thanks for leaving the light on for me, Hubs. Damn, I need a drink. Fuck unpacking. |

Yes, folks, I won NaNoWriMo, and here's my badge to prove it. More on what I learned later. Right now, I'm CELEBRATING!!!
Yeah, so what...I've been away for a while. I never expected this blog thing to get off the ground anyhow. Yet I still keep writing...in what can only be labeled a masochistic act designed to end in failure.